Cuff Coaching

What a crazy, busy short week it has been! I'm writing this post after having just been to the gym - writing this late is not what I normally do and a few factors have led to me now sitting down in some peace and quiet so that I actually have time to think and reflect.  Training later in the day is not a habit for me - I'm usually up at the crack of dawn, in the gym, home to eat, get changed and head off to work. But knowing I had three big days at work (one of them going until 9pm at night) I reorganised myself so that I trained in the afternoon. Please note that no matter how crazy things get training is always done. That's one of my habits. For me training helps me reset myself and spend some time giving something back to me - especially in days where I feel like all I have done is give to others all day (we all know how that feels). The other habit is to get this blog out on a Thursday during school term time.  So as a coach I've had to think about what can I do to ...

 It's been a pretty crazy, chaotic couple of weeks! I've been juggling lots both personally and professionally and trying to stay positive throughout it. I do have a habit of usually looking at the positive side of things - in fact my kids usually tell me that (my saying tends to be...but on the positive side ...) In fact I think I wrote that in a text message this morning.  The power of positive thinking has been heavily researched throughout the last ten years. We know that positive thinking makes us happier, more successful and brings our anxiety levels down. We know that positive thinking changes the way that we approach our relationships and our workplace and we also know that through positive thinking we can turn things around for ourselves in numerous ways. We also know from the research that negative thoughts cause us to go into the fight or flight mode. Our breathing and heartbeats increase, our cortisol levels increase, our brains go into impulsive thinking patterns....

 It's been a couple of weeks since my last post due to the break with school. Our school non contact time is always such an important time to refresh, to repair ourselves and usually to catch up with all those other things that we tend to let go during term time. This break was a particularly hard one with a bereavement.  However, along with this was the time to get away for a few days, have a few laughs, take some time with loved ones and reflect on all the great things that make life so fulfilling.  One thing that I have been focusing on is how to include more ways to develop more spiritual practices within my daily life. I have used tai chi, chi gong, yoga and other breathing practices but never really connected with them deep enough. I like to go for a walk, but even then find it hard to slow it down and really just appreciate all that is around me. However, over the break I made one  discovery, which led to a conversation with my girlfriend who was staying with ...

  “Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don't just give up.” ―  Stephen Hawking This week I've been reading the book "The Advice Trap : Be humble, stay curious and change the way you lead forever." The majority of this book I understand from all the work that I do in coaching and the readings that I do linked to coaching. As a coach we need to be curious. We have to ask the questions without giving the advice. It's something that we have to practice - and master. We so often want to fix the problem, to jump in and give our two cents (especially when we can easily see the solution). But this doesn't help the person that we are working with. Our job is to help them come up with their own solutions, their own ahaha moment.  So why is curios...

 Challenging conversations are something that occur often in a leadership role. Over the last few days I've had a few of them. We all hate difficult conversations. And yet they are something that we have to have often - whether it is in our job, with our kids, with our partner and so on.  I have yet to identify anyone that puts their hand up and says "yes, I'm happy to have that difficult conversation!" Instead the amount of times that people readily put their hand up and say "I hate having difficult conversations and am not good at them so can someone else do it?" is endless. No-one likes difficult conversations - there is something so confronting about having to have them. We tend to spend most of the time predicting what might happen if we have it, we tell our own story in our head over and over, we try to guess what the outcome will be, we have the conversation in our head...and so on and so on (sound familiar?) It's our fear of the consequences that...

This week I have been planning and organising my oldest daughter's 21st birthday. Whilst in the midst of all of the planning of the food and organising all the other bits that we have planned it has provided me with an opportunity to really think deeply about her character traits.  One of the traits that I connect closely to her is Courage. The dictionary defines courage as " the ability to do something that frightens one, be brave, show strength in the face of pain or grief." This got me thinking about what courage means for individuals and if she is even aware of this strong personality stance. From her teenage years she has demonstrated courage in all sorts of forms and has had the strength to say what she believes and to show up when she can't control the outcome of the conversation. I am immensely proud of her for this - especially when she has made some difficult decisions that have had an impact on her - but she has never wavered from her courage to speak up.  ...

 I am privileged in my coaching role to be privy to lots of open and deep discussions, where people can  be brave enough to show their vulnerability. This is one of the most important aspects of a coaches role - being able to listen, with non judgement, and to then help the person they are working with come to realisations themselves. One thing that I love about being a coach is being able to hear people and the stories they tell themselves, and then being in a position to help support that person to really know themselves. I've talked about this briefly before - Know Yourself. When you know yourself you understand your emotions, your social identities, your values and personality. You can then gain clarity around your purpose in life. If you know your purpose you will feel anchored in what you are doing and you as a being.  When you truly know yourself you are acutely aware of your values and your beliefs - these values and beliefs may change over time (and should) and y...