Coaching ourselves
What a crazy, busy short week it has been! I'm writing this post after having just been to the gym - writing this late is not what I normally do and a few factors have led to me now sitting down in some peace and quiet so that I actually have time to think and reflect. Training later in the day is not a habit for me - I'm usually up at the crack of dawn, in the gym, home to eat, get changed and head off to work. But knowing I had three big days at work (one of them going until 9pm at night) I reorganised myself so that I trained in the afternoon. Please note that no matter how crazy things get training is always done. That's one of my habits. For me training helps me reset myself and spend some time giving something back to me - especially in days where I feel like all I have done is give to others all day (we all know how that feels). The other habit is to get this blog out on a Thursday during school term time.
So as a coach I've had to think about what can I do to support myself (I provide coaching for others in my profession but often we forget to get a coach for ourselves). The idea of self coaching and what that looks like came to my head and how could I look at the use of self coaching.
As a coach I feel energized and deeply fulfilled when I get to support people to reach their goals and aspirations. I really love helping others and supporting them to find out who they are and how they function and getting down to the true person that they are (not the person who they think they should be). Ultimately if we are to coach in the best way for the people that we work with we first must be willing to transform ourselves. This requires us to really understand our own selves and what makes us tick - what our strengths and weaknesses are and to understand our own thoughts and emotions. Without understanding our own thoughts and emotions it is harder to help others find theirs.
We also have to have the ability to not overthink things - instead to turn things around and take actions and take steps forwards. We have to be able to make conscious choices - and not respond in knee jerk ways. This one takes a bit of learning but the most powerful way that I use is to visualise myself standing on top of a beach ball and looking around the ball - imagining others on the ball somewhere. You can only see parts of the story if you are on one colour but by standing on top we can see all the points. This stops the knee jerk approach and instead asks what perspective does each person have?
For me self coaching is about looking at what is going on in the inside and outside and asking myself how can I now support myself in times of stress. I don't look to others to provide the solutions or expect others to change around me - instead I have to look at any factors that I can do to control the situations I'm in. Too often in our lives we blame others for our choices or for our stress. Instead start asking yourself what do I have control of and how can I self coach myself through this.
You can do this in various ways...
1) Check in with yourself (how often do we ask how others are). Instead ask yourself how you are doing today? What is your scale you put yourself on?
2) What things do you have control of today - true control of. I have control of when I get to the gym, when I eat and when I go to bed.
3) Remind yourself of what grounds you - and how can you achieve this today. What self talk /self coaching will you need to do to meet that?
4) Talk a look at what the next day will bring - and make a plan. What controls you have, what goals you will set to get through the day. A goal may be as simple as to ensure I drink my hot water through the day, or to give a compliment throughout the day. Coach yourself through it and tell someone else (poor husband ...).
5) Look at some big picture stuff - how can you set some goals to reach the things you need to do? How can you delegate. How can you identify your emotions in order to get there in one piece?
6) How can you do all this without feeling like you are being drained of anything you actually have left? What strategies will you need day to day? How will you check your body battery?
A bit of short blog today but I'm completely drained this week. Hopefully I can use some of these strategies that I've suggested to get through next week! Or hopefully maybe just tomorrow.
Until next week - keep self coaching.
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