Show your courage

This week I have been planning and organising my oldest daughter's 21st birthday. Whilst in the midst of all of the planning of the food and organising all the other bits that we have planned it has provided me with an opportunity to really think deeply about her character traits. 

One of the traits that I connect closely to her is Courage. The dictionary defines courage as " the ability to do something that frightens one, be brave, show strength in the face of pain or grief." This got me thinking about what courage means for individuals and if she is even aware of this strong personality stance. From her teenage years she has demonstrated courage in all sorts of forms and has had the strength to say what she believes and to show up when she can't control the outcome of the conversation. I am immensely proud of her for this - especially when she has made some difficult decisions that have had an impact on her - but she has never wavered from her courage to speak up. 

Simon Sinek discusses Courage as the an external thing. We need to know that someone has our back to do something for others. It's knowing that someone believes in you and you can have the courage to step up and say or do your thing. Its having the conversation that no-one else will. For me courage is demonstrating the best version of yourself - of truly showing up and being vulnerable enough but courageous enough to say what you need to say. Think about those difficult conversations that you may have - how many times do we hear things that we are not ok with but instead of saying something we stay silent. I like the idea of having non negotiable conversations especially when in a toxic situation. Have a think about your non negotiable conversations - how do you put a stop to them? The more we respond the more people will know our beliefs /our values/ our courage. 

Jim Knight describes Courage as the idea to "To lead, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy". I really like the idea of leaving a legacy and asking that question of yourself.

If we break each of these points down it looks something like this (I need to acknowledge Jim Knight for these ideas). 

To Lead : Leading is making a stand.  Ask yourself who you believe to be a truly great leader and why that is. For me our current Queen Elizabeth is one person that I identify with for showing a great deal of courage throughout her reign. When we look closely at the sacrifices that she has made throughout her life, her unwavering belief and values in the crown, her position that she maintains and the courage to make hard decisions when facing difficult times fascinates me.  Leading is having a vision for a better future and a better world. Think about for you what your vision would be  - for me it's for people to flourish. (I really like the concept of flourish and use it lots in my thinking about where to next). 

To Love: What do we define love as? The very famous and familiar quote from Martin Luther King "I've decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" sums it up for me. This quote is especially relevant in our chaotic world. What do you define love as? Is it the ultimate joy of helping someone else or seeking to do good for others? Is it engaging with the soul of another? What is is for you? And how does this link to Courage? 

To Learn: I love learning. Quite simple really. To me learning fulfils my life and I believe that everyone needs to keep learning.  I quite simply cannot understand how people cannot continue to learn new things. To have experiences. To try new things. To develop more understanding. Maybe that's why I'm in education?  But as Jim Knight points out - too often we inhibit our capacity to learn. We put up roadblocks or barriers. We do it for lots of reasons. What do you do everyday that is some new learning or what do you practice. When I talk to kids I ask them two important questions - what did you learn or practice today? Try asking it with yourself. 

Fear and Blame keeps us from learning. It's much easier to point the finger at someone else and not accept our role. If we stop learning we can't be afraid of what we might find out about ourselves. We won't have to face and challenge our own identity. We can stay the same - but we won't find our blind spots. 

We have to demonstrate courage to learn - so ask yourself how are you embracing learning or how are you avoiding it? 

Leave a Legacy: Lastly within the Jim Knight model is to Leave a Legacy. Ask yourself the simple question - what is the legacy you want to leave within your workplace, with your kids, as a human? It's such a big question that it really needs a whole book to talk about it. Paul Chek discusses it in depth and has some amazing ways of helping people develop their legacy. 


Have a think what courage means to you. Where do you see it? Is there someone that you think demonstrates courage to you often. But most of all what do you need to do to develop your own courage? Is it having someone who has your back? Is it defining some of your values? Is it putting a stop to toxic conversations? Is it to look more closely at your own identity and to identify where your blind spots are. Have a think - write some thing down. And start to practice. 

Love to hear your feedback! 

Until next week. 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Smashing barriers

Image
This week I have had numerous discussions with colleagues and family around barriers that people put up that stop them from progressing further and reaching goals that they have set. It was obviously on top for me. At the end of my gym training this morning I reflected on the barriers and hurdles that I had faced throughout the week, both personally and professionally and how I had dealt with these. It was timely. Barriers come in all shapes and sizes and often we don't even see the barrier. What we think of as  unmotivated, uninspired or feeling like we are flounding around in the dark,  is really just a barrier disguised. Barriers disguise themselves in many shapes and forms and it is not until it is pointed out to us that we begin to see them for what they are. It is when the barrier becomes so great that it stops us moving forward and achieving our unleashed potential  that the barriers beat us or wear us down. Often it is the wearing down of the barrier that means we...
Read more

Brene Brown Braving - a useful tool!

Image
Yesterday I was lying in bed thinking about what I would like to post and the idea of Accountability came up for me. It is something that is on top for me at the moment, in a number of different ways, both career wise and personally. This of course, linked naturally to the work that I done through Brene Brown - for those that don't know about her she is so worth a watch or a read of her book. Interestingly enough I then met a friend when I was out who asked me about Brene Brown and my thoughts on her BRAVING concept. How funny was it that I had just been thinking about it and then it was bought up. Hence the post this morning around the concept of BRAVING.  I came across BRAVING a few years ago, when working with a team of leaders, and since then have had a sticky note constantly on my desktop computer with the acronym. It's a reminder to me to keep it on top, especially when things get tricky or I have a barrier to face. Reminding myself of the concept and how I need to work t...
Read more

Challenging Conversations

Image
 Challenging conversations are something that occur often in a leadership role. Over the last few days I've had a few of them. We all hate difficult conversations. And yet they are something that we have to have often - whether it is in our job, with our kids, with our partner and so on.  I have yet to identify anyone that puts their hand up and says "yes, I'm happy to have that difficult conversation!" Instead the amount of times that people readily put their hand up and say "I hate having difficult conversations and am not good at them so can someone else do it?" is endless. No-one likes difficult conversations - there is something so confronting about having to have them. We tend to spend most of the time predicting what might happen if we have it, we tell our own story in our head over and over, we try to guess what the outcome will be, we have the conversation in our head...and so on and so on (sound familiar?) It's our fear of the consequences that...
Read more