Know thyself!



There is such a lot of information out there about Emotional Intelligence, Personality traits, Mindsets, Strengths based to name but a few. All have lots of gems in them and are a great way to start really understanding who you are and how you function. This is a huge discussion and can't possibly be written in one blog post. But for me it is important to spell out some simple things that we can do. But why is this so important? 

Once we know ourselves we can contribute a lot more to our lives. We can develop personally and professionally and start to understand why we do things and how we can make a change. We can start working on ourselves to transform and move through the different Adult Stages of Development. We can then start to see our lives differently and to take a better perspective of how we function in our society (our circles). All of this can have a profound effect on us. 

But we have to do the work. Just as we do the work in the gym or at our own workplace, we need to do the work to know ourselves. Bryon Katie book "Loving what is" is a fantastic read that really helps us question our lives and help us change it. She calls the process "The Work" and talks about "it's not the problem that causes the suffering: it's our thinking about the problem". More to come on this in another blog. 

For me a really important factor in knowing thyself is to delve into some Emotional Intelligence work. A good place to start is with "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman. His book redines intelligence and success and provides insights into how emotional intelligence can be strengthened in all of us. Evidence tells us that people who are emotional intelligent are more likely to be at an advantage in all domains of life.

Our first step to knowing thyself is to be self aware. Many people think they are self aware but do you truly understand of what self aware means? Being self aware helps us to maintain a self reflectiveness. Being self aware means being aware of what is happening around you, about hovering above ourselves more than just being totally immersed and wrapped up in something. Self aware people are aware of their of their emotions and take control of their emotions - they don't let their emotions control them. Self aware people are sure about their boundaries and understand their limitations, whilst also understanding their strengths and how to make the most of them. 

If you become engulfed in your emotions and let moods take over then you can't escape it. If you are accepting of your emotions then you can't change them - this can be just as bad as it becomes a pattern of not growing, or having a fixed mindset. 

Working with a coach can help you unlock your potential. The right coach for you will ask the right questions and will help you develop your self awareness. A few pointers

- How self aware do you think you are? 
- How well do you manage your emotions? Rate these questions on a scale of 1 -10
-  Do you control your emotions? 
- Do your emotions control you? (this is one where you really have to think deeply about)
- Do you become engulfed in your emotions 
- How accepting of your emotions are you? If you always accept that this is the way it is how do you change them? 

Start to reflect on your self awareness each day - jot down your feelings and where on the scale you think you are (you can create your own scale that works for you). Do you see a pattern? What could you do to now dig a little deeper. What habits do you need to develop

Some of my favourite reads around this topic:

Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman)
Mindset (Carol Dweck)
Loving what is (Bryon Katie)
Destructive Emotions and how we can overcome them (Daniel Goleman)

Until next time
Enjoy becoming more self aware...



Comments

  1. Small steps to successJune 10, 2020 at 7:48 PM

    This is such an important topic. It should be taught in schools 🏫. Well done for being passionate about sharing and coaching 👏🏻

    ReplyDelete

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