Brene Brown Braving - a useful tool!

Yesterday I was lying in bed thinking about what I would like to post and the idea of Accountability came up for me. It is something that is on top for me at the moment, in a number of different ways, both career wise and personally. This of course, linked naturally to the work that I done through Brene Brown - for those that don't know about her she is so worth a watch or a read of her book. Interestingly enough I then met a friend when I was out who asked me about Brene Brown and my thoughts on her BRAVING concept. How funny was it that I had just been thinking about it and then it was bought up. Hence the post this morning around the concept of BRAVING. 

I came across BRAVING a few years ago, when working with a team of leaders, and since then have had a sticky note constantly on my desktop computer with the acronym. It's a reminder to me to keep it on top, especially when things get tricky or I have a barrier to face. Reminding myself of the concept and how I need to work through each of these ensures that I stay on top of what I am trying to achieve. It also serves me as a coaching tool for myself. 

In summary Brene uses the concept of BRAVING as below: 

“B”- BOUNDARIES: I will say no when I feel I need to and I am willing to respect and accept your “no” when you are employing your boundaries. We hold boundaries for others and expect them held for ourselves. 

“R”- RELIABILITY: I can only trust you if you do what you say you are going to do over and over again.  Trust is built over time with small acts. 

“A”- ACCOUNTABILITY: I can only trust you if when you make a mistake, you are willing to own it, apologize, and make amends. I can only trust and respect you if when I make a mistake, you are willing to let me own it, apologize, and you will offer true forgiveness.

“V”- VAULT: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. 

“I”- INTEGRITY: Choosing courage over comfort. Choosing what is right over fun, fast, or easy. And practicing your values not just professing your values. 

“N”- NON-JUDGEMENT: You and I can both struggle and feel comfortable asking for help. We can freely share holes in our knowledge and skills without fear of judgment. If we judge ourselves for needing and accepting help, we may also be judging others who we help. 

“G”- GENEROSITY: Our relationship is a trusting relationship if you can assume the most generous thing about my words, intentions, and behaviors. I will do the same. When in doubt we seek to understand and be curious before we judge. Trust of others begins with self-trust. If you can’t count on yourself you can’t ask other people to give you what you don’t have

I look at these time and time again, and question which ones I need to improve, or which ones am I currently facing. As I said, currently I am focusing on the Accountability. Accountability is often one that we avoid, especially in the workplace, as it is a difficult one. It is often about having to have some hard conversations (how often do we hear people say they hate having those!). But at the end of the day we have a job to do. We are also accountable to ourselves.  What we do and say can have a profound impact on others and ourselves. How much do we listen to the noise that is within our heads, or listen to the broken tune that goes around and around? We need to trust ourselves and respect ourselves to make mistakes and to then learn from them - and to acknowledge to ourselves that we have made a mistake and that's ok. 

Coaching using the BRAVING approach can be very powerful. Going through each step, analysing where you are at and how with support we can move through it. Brene talks a lot about vulnerability - and coaching allows you to develop that vulnerability. 

Try using the BRAVING model with yourself - what parts of the model are you really strong in ? What parts do you know you need to relook at and ask yourself where you need to work on. And maybe be like me - write it somewhere where you can see it all the time so that it stays on top. If you want to know more go check out Brene Brown.